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Diann

[ website | Duo and Heero in my dreams ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

(How about a kiss?)

dont want it deleted! [06 Feb 2012|10:16pm]
Sad one of my livjournals was deleted and I would hate to lose this one too! This is the only sane place safe from stinkin old facebook! I blame mariko for getting me started on that crap! facebook is just too addicting!

Anywayz just an update that my son is now 2 years old! He loves to say "Uh oh, cookie, hi, on no!, mm yum!, look!" he is soo sweet he is my pride and joy and I love him soo much! I love being a mommy!

(How about a kiss?)

[06 May 2011|09:53am]
Today is friday and I dont have to work! so surprised because walmart never gives me a weekend day off! I have no plans really because my husband is at work....what should I do??

(4 chocolate kisses | How about a kiss?)

today [13 Jan 2010|03:17am]
I am looking for old pictures of myself but who knows where they are. Most of my old sites are deleted because I havent used them in forever. But not this one its still here. :) Its soo cute! I remember being addicted to this site. I remember talking to my family and friends here and sharing my secrets and ranting till there was no tomorrow. I remember I went through tons of crazy things. Lots of feelings like depression and happiness and loneliness. I remember Brad and how much love I had for him. I remember that I was hurt very bad to the point I never wanted to trust anyone ever again. It sucked so much. I never knew a person could be so stupid and just treat you like shit for no reason. he was a very selfish boy and I wish I never wasted 2 years of my life on him at all. but life is different now I have a wonderful son who makes me smile everyday and a sweet husband who always makes me laughs and makes sure Im happy. He works hard for our family and he me laugh and smile. He is one of my best friends who will never betray me and I love him for it very much. It was just last year I got married and pregnant with my son. If you had asked me 1 year ago in jan if I knew what was ahead of me I wouldnt have even guessed lol! I didnt plan on kids but I did consider marrying kyle. I have been with him for 3 years now. Its a relationship that is like 2 best friends growing up. my best example lol. I have no idea how I started blogging thats soo funny oh livejournal the sweet memories and thoughts of the future

(1 chocolate kiss | How about a kiss?)

who forgot? [08 Jul 2008|01:24am]
fics are great!
http://www.angelfire.com/gundam/RoninWarriors/GSFDI.htm

http://homepages.paradise.net.nz/louisew/day.html

http://www.angelfire.com/gundam/RoninWarriors/GSFpage.html

http://www.angelfire.com/gundam/RoninWarriors/GundamLibrary.html

http://www.fanfiction.net/u/422106/Tama-Kitsune

(How about a kiss?)

yesterday [18 Feb 2008|10:39am]
I had the nastiest old guy try to talk to me. I was checking him out in electronics and he was complaining about the movies he was buying. He said the cost too much and he should wait till they are old and in the 5 dollar bin. he claimed that he knew they would be there cuz thats how walmart works and he used to work there before he became a teacher at his church. (Mind u this is like an old 50 year old) Anyway I said, "wow I wont be at walmart that long, Im in college to be a teacher also, I cant wait!"
You know that guy asked me why I wanted to be a teacher and said I was wasting my life! The nerve! I wasn like um no someone has to tech our children. He said that kids are bad and theres no hope and I was too pretty to worry about other peoples problems. I shouldnt have said anything but I told him "you know its the parents if you need someone to blame. Bad parents make bad children! And if the kids you teach dont listen its your fault for being a bad teacher and not knowing that to have the job is to work with the children and earn respect! Thats why its a job and thats how bosses control their workers! The fact you like children and have fun teaching is the plus!" oh man was he speechless and mad at me! He mumbled something and walked off to look at the phone. I felt very mad that someone can try to discourage you when they themself had done your proffesion. Whats up with that?!! You have nothing better to do with your time? How pathetic get away from me! And then he hunted me down later to him him find a case for his phone and was saying that none fit his and we should have one for his phone. I was like ok all the cases are here and while he was looking I started walking off saying I had to go to the bathroom and didnt go back till I knew that guy was gone! I thought it weird cuz he didnt ask the associate behind the counter for help..why go 2 isles over and bug me?? Was it because he wanted to annoy me or knew that I was a smart person and would know where his case was?...I wonder

(How about a kiss?)

it is sad [18 Feb 2008|10:31am]
I have a lot of money coming my way from a nice tax return yay!!!
I wonder what I need to buy most! I know I have a nice bill to pay but I want to treat myself to at least 1 thing you know!!!I may save it for a trip Im thinking of making to North Carolina. Whats funny about that is that I think I will only be able to see like 3 people out of a lot of people I really want to visist again! I know Shane invited me to stay at his place so I dont have to get a hotel room at least. I dont know if its a good idea though because apparently theres a lot of drugs there. I dont understand why Shane lets himself stay in a situation like that. Of course when I went to school with him and dated him he didnt even smoke. How come when I message him or check up on him he is always sad!??!! He has a girlfriend who takes very good care of him whom he lives with and he still seems bored! Or maybe that was just the empression I got...? I hate to see my friends throw there life away to drugs, thats all. Like David for instance though. I set him up with one of my good friends and then he started pot again and she left him for it. It hurts me so bad, arent there other problems u should have in life than making your own like that!! Dont let a chemical or plant control u!

(How about a kiss?)

my heart [13 Feb 2008|10:03am]
my mom has started an online journal and I learn new things everytime I read it. I really enjoy it too. Any way it made me really want to post because I have a lot to get off my chest.

First of all I miss being in love so much! I miss the feeling of being loved and feeling like you know at least you will be with that one person forever. I miss the kisses and being held.

I still hurt from being betrayed by Brad because I didnt want to love him after Shane but I did. It took me a year and a half to finally give Brad a chance and then I fell so in love with him. We even considered having a baby before college so Im glad now that we didnt! Then while I was at college and he at school I was betrayed in the worst way! He cheated on me and dumped me by text. 3 months later he came back to me begging for forgivness. I forgave him but when he asked me to love him again I found it really hard and easy to say no! I thought yay lets try again but no because he lied to me and threw our 2 years in the garbage for another woman who dumped his ass within a month!
This boy...this Brad.... I almost took MY OWN life because it hurt sooo much! It was good I had a chance to see he wasnt worth it! If I hadnt called my sister and gotten help I would NOT be here right now. Betrayal from your lover is the worst thing ever.

I feel now that I should give up on love but I wont! Hes out there I know it!!! I want to reach out to him and hold him close and never let go! I want to spoil him and make him dinner everynight! I want to have his children and make a beautiful family! I want to feel complete and have more of a purpose! I want to save him from his lonelyness too and make him feel loved and have a sense of belonging! He will belong to me and I will never hurt him and cherish him always and give him everything! When will I get a chance to hold love close again, I want to be loved back too so much. If he only loved me and only me I would find him and love him back forever!


How do you know if the someone just for you is out there? Will they reach out to me ever?? Now would be great, Ive waited a long time. Im tired of reaching out and trying so hard why wont he just come to me!

(How about a kiss?)

this guy named kyle who loves me [13 Feb 2008|10:01am]
well I still feel like my life is caotic but its ok. I do miss Brad but not as much as before. Im enjoying spending time with friends and flirting so much. Hehehe Im cute so Im using my looks to their full extent. Im not gonna be a heartbreaker or a whore or anything! I just want attention from pretty boys. ^^ Like right now when I hang out with all the guys I have tons of fun! Oh yeah I have started dating again. I wonder if its hard for people to fall in love. I think people should only say it when they truly think they can not live without you. They have to know you too. The guy Im dating right now admitted that he thought he loved me and I was his dream girl..thats sweet and stuff but Im not ready for that! I dont think I can love him so its making it hard to talk to him right now... I wish we had just stayed as friends but now i dont want to break his heart. I like him but I dont want to have a lovely dovey relationship what should I do??

(3 chocolate kisses | How about a kiss?)

[01 Mar 2007|07:27pm]
[ mood | desperate ]

I want to know why I am always being hurt. And then when I hurt myself everybody gets mad at me. When will my pain be over! I want to be at peace! I want my love and happiness now! I can only wait for the day that it finally returns to me. Please come back to me! I had you and Im sorry take me back please! I can change I can be better! TAKE ME BACK KOI!!!!

(How about a kiss?)

well [01 Mar 2007|07:16pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

Brad dumped me for stupid reason and has replaced me within a day of our break up! I dont understand! I was not that bad of a girlfriend. Deep down I know that he just wants her because she is at school with him and Im at college but what will he do when he moves out next year! He will be loss thats for sure! But I really want him to come back to me! I wish that he would just give me another chance! I dont think he wants to but I think that if he saw me face to face he couldnt say no to me! But who really knows what will happen. I hope and pray that he gets what he deserves for betraying and lieing to me like he did. This is the worst break up ever and its all his fault and could have been avoided! Why did I trust him so much! Why didnt I watch out for this! Why is my heart being broken and played with for no reason!? I dont understand and its driving me nutz it really is! What will I do! I want him back so bad! He is not even the best but I just want him! I think if I had a new bf I could move on easier! I feel so desperate for attention and comfort right now! No more betrayl or lies just honesty please! Im praying lord help me! Help me get over him! Help us get through this! Whatever yolur will is please help me!

(How about a kiss?)

[10 Nov 2006|09:50am]
I guess I was feeling moody cuz I stayed up too late or something. Never the less I still feel kinda bad. I still feel like I want to be done with college. I mean is nice being on your own and having so much responsiblity and space between class but I dont want to it right now. But I geuss it might have something to do with the fact that exam finals are coming up and vacation is starting. So I feel really lonely and anxious about testing. THat sounds about right I guess. I might want some alone time though so I dont know why I feel alone when I dont really feel much like entertaining anyone. I think I will enjoy it if I rent a movie from the library and watch it. I will be alone this weekend or I might hang out with Kerry or Tj if they want to do something. Im not sure when I go to work so I may leave early and find out cuz I dont feel like calling. I need to wash my clothes this weekend.... wow random thoughts. I will study though since I have the time this weekend.

(How about a kiss?)

[10 Nov 2006|12:05am]
[ mood | depressed ]

Im sad I that Im about to be kicked out my dorm for thanksgiving holidays. Its pretty much bs! I dont have anywhere to go except to kimbers or brads... believe it or not but I dont want to stay with brad over the holidays and I feel bad bumming from kimber cuz I would have to ask her sister to take me to work...Im really considering staying with a guy I know from work though.. I mean I would like to but I dont think Brad would like it if I did. Is that bad or what? I really need a car and that would help a little bit. It makes me so mad at my mom! why does she have to be a crazy bitch?! But really I am sad at myself right now. I wish I could find a steady pace and keep going on it... like I keep feeling like teaching isnt what I will be good at. I wonder why Im going to work and spending all my money on callses for. It very frustrating. Im very tired of school. I cant stand having teachers who give test and progects and be judged every class I go to. Why cant teachers give you work and then grade it? No my teachers have to be personal and think that their class is all that matters in your life?! No some of us have to go to work after class ok! Not all of us have parents to buy us cars and tutition and dorm fees. I also want an apartment to save money. Another thing that bugs me is Brad. I am happy with my brad but i feelvery distant from him a lot and I am not sure ifwe are really having a good relationship right now. I feel like freinds are scarce right now... I just look at brad sometimes and I feel really sad... If everyone only knew. They are so sure me and Brad are perfect but I have regrets in my relationship with him and since high school I have felt that we werent going to be able to be together for always. Its hard to explain it though. and I wish I had someone to talk to about things other than brad, i wish someone cared about me enough for me to trust them. well im glad doesnt read this or he might be sad to know what I feel about him.

(1 chocolate kiss | How about a kiss?)

[31 Oct 2006|02:38am]
amstar sucks. my boyfriend is a goober god love him. my mom is a bitch. i is broke like crazy.i want to buy a car.i feel bad for my family.wjat am i gonna do

(How about a kiss?)

feelings... [24 Sep 2006|02:05am]
I have so many feeling about people!!! Whats wrong with me!!

(How about a kiss?)

wow [17 Sep 2006|07:38pm]
I really like college! I even have a small job that I can walk to so I can make a bit of money. I can call my Brad every night and I like my roommate. What could be better? :)

(3 chocolate kisses | How about a kiss?)

[14 Aug 2006|07:08pm]
[ mood | bored ]

When I get the chance, I will get my paid account started on lj again!
Today I went to the 99 cent general and bought a cute purse for a dollar and it has pictures of anime girls on it!!! Im so glad I found my phone. I lost it after only a few days after I bought it and I found it while I was packing. I had to break into one box because I didnt leave enough shirts unpacked.... X( but Im going to go through my clothes again and maybe hand some down to April in case I dont have enough room at my dorm. Im really excited about going to my dorm room on the 19th! Im sad that I dont have a room mate yet. :( But next year I might room with either Amy or Candyce! That would be so cool!!! I applied for the house of ....welll the name starts with an 'M'....Maine??? ANYWAYZ....its suppose to have lots of freshmen activities going on there and I'd like to meet lots of people. I wonder if meeting new people will be hard for me. It was fun to meet people at the oriantation. Its sooooo weird to not be going to high school when April wakes up everyday and catches the bus to go. I really cant sleep for some reason. Last night I actually fell asleep at 10 but woke up at 3 and couldnt fall back asleep until like 8 and woke up around 3!!!! Maybe Im feeling too anxious or something? I rediscovered pikmin 2!!! SO CUTE!!!!!
Since I have decided that I want to teach kindergardens, I have really been interested in looking at kids! They are so smart on tv but in public they seem so loud and bad! Whats up with that!?! I wonder if I will be able to calmly control them if someone starts a fight about something silly like santa or stealing each others crayons. hmmm Maybe I should play it easy and do daycare watching so all I have to do is feed them and put on blues clues! lol
I feel random today!

(4 chocolate kisses | How about a kiss?)

[21 Nov 2005|10:58pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

Hoenstly I wrote this and I wrote it for my Nagisa. It might sound pathetic but its how I really feel. Even though it really hurt that he could move on so easily and the girls he went to didn't treat him right {well thats what he told me} I let him be because he is happy with his life now. But I believe there is only 1 special someone for everyone and that someone for me is Shane.




I knew and you knew


If I should fall anytime soon hold out your arms and catch me
Take my pain and chase the inner demons away
I'll hold you if you can remember my name
As time flies I stand hopeful
Dont have to be at your side to be with you in mind
Crazy promises and wishes are ok if not cheap
Its better to be truthful and innocent
I see your scars and they overlap mine
Can I cradle you above as a true friend should
Where void can seem so dark you know there is a light
If I ever had such a treasure I would give it to you
No need to learn a lesson to just be yourself
With so much beauty how can you not see
Theres so much to do with peace
What if I told you that I belong to you
Another time will fall back again
I will continue to fall because its all I know how to do
If you should fall anytime soon I'll hold out my arms and catch you

~Diann

(3 chocolate kisses | How about a kiss?)

[25 Oct 2005|04:51pm]
[ mood | jealous ]

Aha I have snuck online and it feels so good!!! I miss my internet so much! Its like a long lost love. *swoons* And it feels like so much has happened since my last post. I really want to post pics of my birthday too. It sucks I cant post so much to get things of my chest too. Well here are a few random updates.
I have been working at Rite Aid getting 6.25 and saving like a mofo so I can go on my senior trip to JAPAN BABY!!! WHO AM I KIDNAPPING AND TAKING WITH ME???
I have gotten into a few fights with my mom but we are on good terms. Shes doing better. My parents had this weird thing going on where my mom didnt want to take care of kids anymore and left and my dad didnt feel like paying bills or going to work for a while and of course he didnt go oversees.
My grades are doing pretty good and I have been hanging out with my friends a lot. I havent been to the mall to play ddr in a while because gas costs so friggin much and that sucks. I bought fatal frame 2 and Kuron!!! They're really freaky!!! I LOVE THEM!!! Ehh I just cant get everything out right now but I do have something important I think I want to post, but I guess I will do it later. I miss you guys!!! I miss all my lovies in NC!!! email me sometime cuz I check that all the time ok!

(3 chocolate kisses | How about a kiss?)

[15 Sep 2005|11:52pm]
Maybe someone is wondering....where is Diann? Where has she gone?! or maybe nobody cares. Well I have been mostly at home and work or hanging out with friends, nothing too big. I am currently working at Zaxbys but am starting at Rite aid this Sunday but I will quite Zaxbys so I dont work too much. RIght now I am staying at my sister Junie's house because I need some time to myself because I have been stressing myself out too much lately. I have also been overly smothered by people...its not their fault I just know too many people they are just attracted to me but all the drama of their lives...yeah needed a break. Im also in a weird situation with work so yeah...and the school has been needing money payments for everything all at once and due dates all together and Im trying to pay them myself but its really hard. I just want to experience some responsibility because Im 18 next weekend and this is my last year.

I am registered for my ACT and taking it next month and I am going to register for college next. Im pretty sure which college I want to go to but not so much my major. Im working hard on my grades because the classes have been really hard this year. Alg 3 and history are killing me.... Other than that, Im practicing to go to a trumbower competition. cant spell it but you know what it is right? I have gotten a comedy piece and Im writing my own solo pantamine act. So far it sounds pretty good I think. Really so many thoughts are going through my mind! I have a lot of emotional problems too and Im trying to just deal with them when I get sad and melancholy. I really miss my close friends right now.


And I have been so grounded lately! Not that I dont deserve them or whatever but it just pisses me off. It just does... And I can hardly ever leave the house even when Im not grounded because I dont have anyone to ask permission from unless I call poor pregnant Junie and thats just weird. I like to randomly go out with friends for icecream or a movie or to play ddr but....whatever thats how I feel.

(3 chocolate kisses | How about a kiss?)

[30 Jul 2005|12:04pm]
Do you ever get online in the middle of a weekend afternoon and wonder where all your other computer crazed friends are? I dont wonder, I know where you are! I know what you are up to!!

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